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Because We Can: Hot Holiday Dresses

Because what 38 year old mother of two small children doesn't slip into this bad boy to go to the hubby's Christmas party at the local Days Inn?   (Dress from simplydresses.com)

Because what 38 year old mother of two small children doesn’t slip into this bad boy to go to the hubby’s Christmas party at the local Days Inn?
(Dress from simplydresses.com)

I am not in my early twenties anymore. Neither is Em (she’s actually two weeks older than me). So whenever I see segments on television talk shows on holiday dresses or what to wear for the seasonal parties, I totally blank out because I really have no desire to have my boobs hanging out of the top of a strapless dress (quite a feat, considering I’ve had two kids, but still possible, thanks to Wonderbra) or be tugging on the bottom hem constantly because the dress is too short and I’m scared to show some cheek. Everything out there seems tailor made for gals far younger and perkier than I am.

…Sucks. Becauses I like to look pretty, too.

So here’s a list of mom-body friendly dresses appropriate for both work and social circle Christmas parties — according to Ellie. Because I’m opinionated. So I make lists about things that are great.

modcloth -- posh at the party

Channel your inner Betty Draper and slip into this lucious looking frock from Modcloth. The teal is an eye-catching change from the black you wore last year, no? (Dress: Posh at the Party; modcloth.com)

modcloth -- making a cameo - Copy

A figure flattering silhouette is perfectly set off in this red and black retro cameo pattern. Go ahead. Eat the damn cheesecake. (Dress: Making a Cameo; modcloth.com)

modcloth -- genuinely genteel - Copy

Forgiving and feminine in a throwback pink that will make you want to do the Lindy Hop in front of the tree. (Dress: Genuinely Genteel; modcloth.com)

additionelle -- draped dress - Copy

This flirty number drapes your every curve without sticking to you like that sleaze from the marketing department who keeps trying to get you under the miseltoe. This dress will keep you feeling pretty and bright long after he passes out under the punch table. (Dress: draped dress; additionelle.com)

modcloth -- evolution of elegance - Copy

Green, baby, green! You’re bound to get noticed for all the right reasons when you walk in wearing this soft piece and a cute little pair of silver heels. Don’t forget your chablis at the bar. (Dress: Evolution of Elegance; modcloth.com)

Modcloth -- Cascading Cava - Copy

Put some sparkle in your evening when you slip this on. Again, a festive dress with a flattering cut. How can you go wrong? …You can’t. (Dress: Cascading Cava; modcloth.com)

Modcloth -- Bead It - Copy

Another homage to the hot, hot, hot Gatsby style this year. Slip your Spanx (I don’t have a trademark button shortcut, sorry) on and glide out the door in this tricky dress, and you’ll turn heads! If you’re the modest type, though, don’t worry — it comes in different colours, not just the flesh tone. (Dress: Bead It; modcloth.com)

additionelle -- limited edition love and legend sequined dress - Copy

Good things come in classic packages! The cut of this dress is basic, but the dress is anything but. There’s some serious glitter here, so don’t be shy… (Dress: Limited Edition Love & Legend sequined dress; additionelle.com)

A charming sheath dress gets the speak-easy treatment. This dress will surely become your go-to LBD for all occasions Christmas and beyond. You gotta have it. (Dress: Philharmonic in Time; modcloth.com)

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Pop Culture Monday: The Christmas Creep

No, not THAT kind of Christmas creep.

No, not THAT kind of Christmas creep.

It’s not a new phenomenon, but it’s only been in the last couple of years that the ridiculousness was finally saddled with an appropriate moniker.

The Christmas creep.

We all know the Christmas creep.  It’s the holiday cards that suddenly start showing up in the stationary section of Wal-Mart at the end of September.  Wrap and bows that sneak up by the automatic door of Target near Canadian Thanksgiving are quickly followed up by fully decorated trees at Canadian Tire by Halloween, and everybody on the block has their Christmas lights up by November 3rd.

In my opinion, that’s some pretty serious what-the-fuckery, right there.

Firstly, there is a movement here in Canada to keep Christmas substantially toned down until after November 11, which is our Remembrance Day (like U.S. Memorial Day).  Many people, including me, feel that the gratitude and humbleness of the day is overshadowed by the fact that it’s a national holiday and you get the chance to go shopping in the middle of the week.  And retailers are open to allow it, which I understand from a purely business perspective — when your customers have the chance to come in, why would you be closed?  That makes no fiscal sense, I grudgingly admit.  But we’re talking about our national freedom, here, and the lives that were sacrificed for it.  That’s a pretty big deal, as far as I’m concerned, and folks are too busy being distracted by flashing lights and holiday deals to actually take the day for what it was intentioned for — to spend it with the family and friends they are lucky to have, enjoying the amazing country they are lucky to have, and taking just one minute (yes, just sixty seconds is the national standard for a moment of silence) to reflect on the pain and suffering that men and women went through so Bob from up the block could go to Sears in the first place.

But, hey, you say.  Isn’t going to Sears a way of celebrating the freedom I have to do so?  Isn’t utilizing that freedom to chose how and where I spend my time a way of acknowledging our veterans and the sacrifice they made to maintain our way of life?

Sigh…  I’m not here to change any minds, but just get across what’s on my mind.  If that’s where you are at, fine.  But it can’t be denied that the sentiment of Remembrance Day — and especially American Thanksgiving, bookended by the flagrantly overhyped Black Friday and now Cyber Monday — has been railroaded by the artifice of a premature Christmas season.

And the warm fuzzies of the grandaddy of all holidays, the Big Kahuna of the Calendar — Christmas — have been lost.  It’s like Christmas’ PR department got drunk and puked garland and overpriced Lego all over the place.  The feeling of the season is an endangered species.  By the time Christmas actually rolls around, people are so stressed out from the shopping and gift rigmarole that they can’t wait for the day to be over.  They’re bloated and hung over from the excess at Christmas parties.  Tired of braving the crowds at the malls to grab the one gift they really needed to get, only to find out they were sold out all over town.  Sick of the two months of Christmas carols on the radio.  The commercialism that has been encouraged to overrun a religious holiday has engulfed one-quarter of our year, silently sneaking up on us so we don’t notice how out of place it is; it’s like tobogganing in July.  The Christmas creep lurks around the corner from Labour Day weekend, waiting to wrap the culture in its self-absorbed tom-foolery.

Where’s the rejoicing?

Where’s the wonder?  The anticipation?  The feeling of harmony with your fellow man?

You can find it in aisle nine.